How Did This Happen?

Who would ever think that these two cute little boys would grow up to be teenagers? We had so much fun when they were younger and they loved their parents. They used to say that they were not going to go on a mission unless I could come with them. Now, I have to force them to walk with me down the street. Last night I took them out to dinner at La Villa - a little Mexican Restaurant a block away from our house - because Sam was out of town and I didn't feel like cooking (my excuse was that I was suffering from a bad cold). Walker wanted to hurry on ahead and meet us there. So Carson and I left together, but he was walking so fast. I asked him to walk with me so I didn't feel so alone. He claimed he walked fast and that was just the way it was. I tried to get him to slow down and pretend he was enjoying walking with me. He wouldn't - too embarassing to be seen with his mother. He did, however, wait at the door and hold it open for me when we got there. When did I become so uncool? I know this is just part of the process and isn't this what we raise children to do? Separate from us to make it on their own? But I just don't remember it hurting this much when my other children made the changes. (Bryce actually hasn't made that change yet--but I am confident he will someday.)

Walker still needs me though. Last night he woke me at about 3 am because he had been having a nightmare (this is the 2nd one this month). Since Sam was gone I told him to just lay in bed with me. That was a big mistake. He is not a good bedfellow. I didn't get any sleep because he moves constantly--sideways, up, down, all around. I looked at the clock every time he woke me up: 3:30, 4:10, 4:30, 5:03, 6:01. But at least he was comforted and could sleep again.